suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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