Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
