some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
