Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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