And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
