A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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