He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
