Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
