So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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