well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
accomplished twins. life is a go
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
