you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
