dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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