we're blogging at a bar
She said her name was "party"
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize