it was like eating out sand paper
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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