i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
