that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize