Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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