Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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