I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Be still, my beating vagina.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
