I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
