fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
