Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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