what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We left the knife in your bed.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize