I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
