what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
