why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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