yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
