Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
