I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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