So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
