whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
