White coat. Heels.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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