Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
