who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
