did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
