I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
