I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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