I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Who died my cat blue again?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
