Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
