hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
