and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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