Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
