Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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