If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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