Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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