Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
