speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
