used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
