Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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