C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
