Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Randomize
