Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
