I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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