Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
there's paper in my vomit.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
