Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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