we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
