ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
