their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
meet me or not, i'm out of control
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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