Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
it was like his penis was on wheels.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Drunk is not a location!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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