I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
