i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Operation Purity has been aborted
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
