How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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