its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
