I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
